I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
