Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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