i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
