I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
