STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
