The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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