Even the bartender felt bad for me
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
