new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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