Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
