I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
