anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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