Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
