I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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