for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
