Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
