I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
