What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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