Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
