He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
