its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
