Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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