Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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