You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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