My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
