We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
