somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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