Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
What a fucking waste of an outfit
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
