how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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