His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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