got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
