FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
