garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
