everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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