I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
her vagine was all disorganized.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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