I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
