whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
