dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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