I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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