During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
