She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
