Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
