My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
