I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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