1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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