had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
