My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
