Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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