Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
her vagine was all disorganized.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
