me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
