She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
