YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
