Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
