she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
